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[16 Mar 2008|02:30pm] |
the "my girl 2" soundtrack is so good, in particular this song by elton john called "benny and the jets":
i've been listening to it on repeat. also, i recently came across the COOLEST video ever:
most inspiring thing i've ever seen.
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[13 Feb 2008|09:23am] |
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[13 Dec 2007|02:28pm] |
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bonde do role |
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china was fun. now i'm home and a bit grim in the head. however thanks to the reserve bank, i now have a cheque for $693. wealth! but i'm still uneasy. i think there is something rotten inside my head, like a fat slug that's been eating up my brains and my insides and anything good over the past decade. i'm wondering if it's a **repressed memory** or some trippy shit like that.
perhaps hypnosis has the answers???
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[03 Nov 2007|05:47pm] |
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i just walked around my backyard for the first time in months. breathing in fresh air, feeling the wet leaves under my feet. a rejuvenating experience!
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[03 Nov 2007|04:04pm] |
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life is good!
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[28 Oct 2007|02:26pm] |
my head is currently going mrrrrrmphmrrrrrmphARrRRFfffffarfffffchuguguguguguguguggulugugguugugugug
AKA biggest headache of the century.........
i've tried to document my life through pictures over the past few months, although i don't always remember to bring/use my camera. go here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/steffstrudel
thanks im going to go and die now see you
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[20 Oct 2007|05:42pm] |
i'm trying to convince my mum that steve buscemi is more attractive than ralph fiennes
hahaha
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[15 Oct 2007|06:14pm] |
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i am going to be grumpy for the rest of my life. i am going to eventually turn into a plus-size prune and fall out of my bed in the middle of the night and hit my head on my ugly sidetable and die. these days all i can think about death, and how it's gonna come eventually, and how it scares me so much i could shit myself. i guess that's funny, considering i spent most of my **angsty** teen years wanting to kill myself. i go through periods in my life where i think about death a lot, i thought i'd gotten over it but it's back. i suppose it's hard to avoid the idea of death when everything around me seems to be pointing toward that one thing, like the other day i had to fill out this form which said that my parents would each get $50 000 if i died. i don't like the idea of being nothing, rotting away, forgotten, maggoty. i wasn't so scared when i was religious and shit but i don't really believe that stuff about heaven and hell anymore, i don't think i ever did. i find that while i can intellectually grasp religious concepts, i can't actually 'feel' them, and i've never been able to relate to those people who recount their experiences of intense **spiritual enlightenment**. i remember asking all these religious grown-ups about how i could feel the way they did, and they always said you had to stay "open", and that's what i did for 17 years of my life but i never felt a thing. reading the bible was like reading a novel. i never experienced any *miracles* either. well one time, i prayed for a bus and it came, but that doesn't count. everything seems so joyless.
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[08 Oct 2007|07:51pm] |
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just the two of us |
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there's blood and pus cumming out of my ear
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[08 Oct 2007|07:26pm] |
"just the two of us" by grover washington jr and bill withers
how wonderful!
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[08 Oct 2007|11:11am] |
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yesterday while zie and i were vegetating in front of the TV, we watched this special called "graveside groupies" in which teenagers visited the gravesites of their heroes. the notables included two teen metal-heads moping over the death of metallica's old bass player("when i found out that he hadn't even been alive in my lifetime, i locked myself in my room for 2 days. i wanted to kill myself"), a grunge kid visiting kurt cobain hotspots("i don't think i even felt this this when my family members died") and two girls recounting the time they met the lead singer of blind melon aka highlight of their life("everyone thinks it's a heroin overdose but i want to get this straight - it was a COCAINE overdose" and even better, "when i found out he was dead, i dropped out of school")...++++ the whole thing was hosted by the guy from motley crue. great stuff!
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[20 Sep 2007|06:53pm] |
so last night i had another pregnancy dream.
AHHHHHH.
you don't understand how bad they are until you have them. it's like my worst nightmare ever because i never want to have kids. and in my dream, i was going to give birth the next day. i was SO scared. god the whole idea of having something growing inside you is GROSS. i don't care if people say it's natural or whatever, i just hate the idea. i don't even like kids that much, unless they're like relatives or friends' relatives or yeahh you know what i mean. but i even hate some of my cousins. i'm going really loopy now. loopy frootloopy. i've had really scary nightmares for about 3 days in a row. i wake up with scratches and blood all over my face. dramatic but true. i have two fat assignments due tmrw but it's not so bad because i'm gonna celebrate after. yeeeeah. right now my favourite things in the world are salt and vinegar chips(which i HATED until about a month ago) and mum's cooking and the music i listened to when i was 15 and dweeby boys. those are probably the things that keep me going. :)
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[16 Sep 2007|01:50pm] |
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beat happening -teenage caveman |
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i've just been thinking about what i wrote for that part in the high school yearbook where they ask you stuff like "where will you be in ten years time?" etc and it's so embarrassing/hilarious, i probably come across as the biggest most pretentious wanker ever hahahah ... i'm glad i didn't order a copy.
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[16 Sep 2007|09:12am] |
this is the BEST thing i've seen in my entire life
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[11 Sep 2007|12:41pm] |
woke up late and skipped my lecture, apparently i missed a good one ie sex toys and porn clips used to illustrate some obscure theory about cyborgs. i went to the kfc opposite railway square just then and realised how depressing it is. kfc railway square attracts a diverse demographic. in addition to myself, the people you usually find there tend to be middle-aged asians, "lads" and guys who look like vanilla ice. it's depressing, just listening to the things they talk about. i also feel kind of weird today because i'm carrying a fake chanel bag. when my dad brought it back from china i was really excited, i thought it was all kitsch and funny and couldn't wait to carry it, but now i feel a bit TOO kitsch and funny.
also.......
ANGORA RABBIT UPDATE: mum says i *might* be able to get one so fingers crossed!
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[10 Sep 2007|04:45pm] |
i think i have developed square eyes.
it's probably a result of sitting in front of the computer for 3 days straight. so stressed about my assignments! i feel like i haven't seen human beings for a hundred years. all i seem to do is google image search weirdlooking animals. i think the last time i saw someone i considered a friend was wednesday. i'm so bored i almost wish i could have a seizure well not really. bllejlklrghkehgakdfa;lkjfafad;fkjd just one more week of hell. hmmmm. i'm going to find something to eat.
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amishdining's journal
